Parent Infant Psychotherapy Online
How can this work be done online?
At the best of times having a baby can be momentous but sometimes overwhelming experience. Having a baby in the middle of a Pandemic is an experience beyond any living memory! Many who have become new parents since the first lock down have understandably struggled with this unexpected extra burden.
They have been without access to all the usual support, whether from grand-parents and other family members or the usual community support of parent and baby groups. For parents the unforseen anxiety, the inherent uncertainty of the Pandemic and the potential feelings of abandonment may have pervaded the experience of the first months of their baby’s life and their life as new parents.
My response
During the Lockdown earlier this year I, like many other Parent Infant psychotherapists, began to offer online psychotherapy to parents and babies. Initially I was uncertain as to how successful this new way of working would be. I was particularly concerned about whether or not babies could engage in the therapy with their parents through a computer screen. I am used to sitting on the floor with parents and their baby with cushions and a small number of toys to aid interaction between us all. Any kind of screen or ‘virtual’ experience was an anathema to me in my work as a parent infant psychotherapist!
How do families experience this way of working?
For adults the adaptation to working therapeutically online has often been a relatively smooth transition and even though it isn’t always the preferred way of working it is an acceptable compromise. Unsurprisingly I began to notice that the level of engagement in this new way of working with babies is dependent on their age. Of course your tiny baby will have difficulty seeing anyone on the screen and therefore struggle to relate overtly with the me online. However, here you play a fundamental role; your baby is likely to feel the difference in you as you become more relaxed when talking to someone who can empathise and understand what you and your baby are experiencing. The tone of your voices may change as you experience being heard and your concerns understood, your breathing may become deeper and more relaxed. Your baby will experience this in a bodily way as you touch and hold them.
Very young babies
Babies from 4 months onwards are more likely to be able to engage with the image of a person on the screen. I am careful to use gentle hand movements and often copy or ‘mirror’ your baby’s movements as I speak gently to them. I might talk about what we are discovering together about what may be going on in their mind and I can talk with them about how you may all be experiencing your relationship together.
Toddlers
Toddlers are able to actively enjoy the interaction between their parents and me via my presence on the computer screen. In showing me their favourite toys and ‘reading’ books we can share through mutual play. You and I can think together about what your baby is communicating about their inner world and their experience of the relationship between you. Through talking to your toddler directly I can help them to ‘digest’ their feelings (make sense of them) and encourage you to feel more confident in helping your baby with this yourself.
Unexpected benefits of online therapy
Usually parents and babies come to see me in my therapy room, however working online gives me an invitation to visit your family in your own home. Sometimes this may feel challenging, but it does provide a unique opportunity for us to be together in the normality of your shared home environment. We can use your baby’s favourite toys and I can have an insight into your experience together that I may not otherwise have the privilege of witnessing.
Working therapeutically online is a compromise for us all, but it enables important work to begin or continue until such time that we can all safely meet in person.